Q&A

QUESTION : For the 20 years that I have been on this Earth, I feel that my life has been nothing but suffering and misery. I've tried to see the good in my life, I've tried to console myself by telling me that anything bad that happens is Allah's will and his a trial that he has given me to test my faith and belief in him and my character, I've tried to be positive and optimistic and see unfortunate events as lessons that help me become a better Muslim and human being, and I've prayed like crazy to God for mercy, forgiveness, and for him to guide and to help me and after every bad event, I've strengthened my belief and faith in God but I feel that I just can't go on anymore. I'm inconsolable and so lost and I just keep waiting for God's mercy but every time I think I hit rock bottom, I find that things get even worse. How can I save myself from my suicidal and depressing thoughts and when will my misfortunes end so that I can just find peace in this world and in the afterlife? I know that God gives trials to test people's beliefs but why have mine lasted for 20 years? one bad nightmare after another? Is this a sign that God does not look upon me favorably? (from USA)

ANSWER: First, may God shower you with His blessed mercy. May He relieve you of the internal and external struggles you are dealing with on a regular basis. There are times in our lives that feel like everything around us is suffocating to the point of hopelessness. In some cases, these are momentary though in the moment they seem insurmountable. Other circumstances tax the very core of our existence down to the soul. In fact, the ride seems like it is a unending down slope with no ascent in sight. It can be so bad that it colors our view of life; what is good seems faint and perishable. There seem to be more bad days than good days and they turn our clear minds into playgrounds for dangerous thoughts. It seems bleak but it is only because of where we stand that our view is so dismal. Once we have come to acknowledge this, it may help us on the path to recovery. There is very little, if anything, that can be written to console you. Your situation seems far greater than any internet answer can provide. There is a tangled web of issues, most of which your question does not reveal so it would be completely out of line to try to resolve your issues. Having said that, there are some necessary points you should allow your mind to digest with the hopes that it will help you get back into more positive territory. As you mentioned, there are many challenges that we face throughout our lifetime; however, the intensity and frequency of these challenges should not be viewed as being a sign that God is happy or angry with us. We cannot selectively assign our problems to Him. The fact is, we don't know what His challenges are and we cannot assume that every challenge we face is from Him. Our troubles stem from many different things; some we are aware of and others not; some are from within and others are from without. Realizing this should help in contextualizing the challenges we face and not frame them in a way that we begin to believe that God is angry with us. Doing so compounds our troubles. If we don't stay clear from such thoughts the hole will get deeper and not only will it seem that the world is working against, but that we are working against ourselves and even worse that the Almighty is not happy with us. This type of thinking must come to a stop. From a religious standpoint, you must understand that God is merciful and does not want you to suffer. If we keep this in mind, it will help us desist from blaming Him and believing that our problems are rooted in Divine anger. What this should do is make it easier to deal with worldly matters without the weight of guilt of believing to add to the dilemma. We can ask the Almighty for help, but we also must make every effort to deal with the issues in a temporal way. Keep things in perspective and keep God close and seek His help and any other assistance needed and insha'Allah you will overcome what seems overwhelming. God knows best (Understanding Islam) )